Before we had our daughter, our house, and even before we were married we had our Beagle, Gabby. Our love for the outdoors had us taking Gabby everywhere we went. We took her camping, hiking, kayaking, sailing, and to her favorite place, the Oregon Coast. She could dig in the sand and play fetch in the ocean for hours; she loved that place! Two days ago we took her to the vet. Two days ago we signed the form giving consent for Gabby to be given a lethal dose of barbiturates to end her life. Gabby is dead.
Guilt
Having a sick or injured animal put to sleep is humane. It is the logical thing to do and we should not feel bad for relieving an animal’s suffering. Yet, I feel so guilty for having our dog put down. I thought it would be easy, but that’s not the case. I have found it way harder to deal with than I would have thought. I now understand the pain that others go through when they put their beloved animals to sleep. Before, I would dismiss it with a simple condolence, but now I understand. Gabby wasn’t just an animal, she was a member of our family. She was like our first child.
Quality of Life
When we first decided to go travel for a couple of years, it was planned that Gabby would not be going with us. She was around 8 or 9 at that time and we assumed she would be at the end of her life span by the time we left and she would have already passed from old age. It sounded like such a easy plan. We would wake up one morning to find that Gabby had passed away peacefully in her sleep. But in the off chance that she was to be one of those Beagles that live an extra long life, we would find a caretaker for her while we traveled. But sometimes things don’t go as planned.
Over the past few years Gabby developed typical age related problems. She had arthritis, her vision decreased, and she became mostly deaf. Even though she was slower she still enjoyed going on trips to the coast, camping, and hiking. But over the last year she spent most of the time sleeping and stopped greeting us as we came home. Just 3 months ago she became incontinent and developed a bad cough. We took her to the vet and they ran a set of really expensive tests and x-rays and concluded that Gabby had a heart murmur, an enlarged heart, and pneumonia. The veterinarian prescribed medication to help her heart pump better, a diuretic to rid her lungs of the excess fluid, and antibiotics to fight the pneumonia. It seemed to help for awhile even though the heart medication made her really drowsy and she could barely get up in the morning. We used a baby gate to keep her in the kitchen during the day and night for the incontinence, and this seemed to work really well. But her heart problems were causing a fluid build-up in her lungs again and her cough became increasingly worse, often making her gag. The medication was increased, but she continued to get worse every day. She would pace at night coughing and gagging and look at us like she wanted us to make the discomfort stop. She was suffering and we knew that we might need to put her down, but neither Kerri nor I could do it. So, we waited for Gabby to miraculously get better, but she only got worse. This past week we knew it was time and I called the vet and made an appointment for Saturday at 10:30am.
Gabby’s Last Night with Us
It’s a weird having an appointment in which a family member is to die. But this also gave us time to say our goodbyes. For Gabby’s last night with us Sydney and I gave her a bath and a good dinner of canned gourmet dog food. We then placed her on the couch with a blanket and Sydney read her the book, “Walter the Farting Dog.”
Our Dog is a Faker
We awoke Saturday morning to the sound of Gabby coughing and gagging and a house full of large pee puddles and a pile of poo, which Kerri found the hard way by stepping in it. It seemed Gabby decided to leave us a gift. I gave Gabby another bowl of canned dog food, her last meal, and she looked very happy to get such a great treat two times in a row. We took Gabby for a short walk down the street and she coughed and gasped for air the whole way. Gabby was loaded into the car and we drove towards Sydney’s art class where she would spend the next couple of hours. We left a back window rolled down so Gabby could stick her head out and enjoy her last ride in style. Before getting out of the car Sydney gave Gabby one last long hug, and then went quietly inside the building towards her class. Kerri and I drove towards the vet clinic listening to Gabby cough and gag in the backseat and knew we had to go through with this. She was suffering. Just before pulling into the parking lot of the vet clinic the radio started playing Elton John’s “A Funeral for a Friend.” I am not making this up!
We walked Gabby into the vet clinic while she coughed hoarsely and gagged and they led us to an examination room. A vet tech came in and asked us what was wrong with Gabby and wrote everything down. The tech left the room and as we waited for the veterinarian we gave Gabby a good back scratching and told her how much we loved her. She looked like a very happy dog. The veterinarian came into the room and looked down at our happy dog and looked kind of puzzled as to why we wanted to put her down. Gabby was no longer coughing or gagging and looked old and gray, but healthy. The vet said she had to advocate for the animal and listened to us tell all about how sick our dog was and how we wanted to end her suffering, yet, Gabby continued to look healthy and happy and I don’t think the vet believed us. We felt very odd trying to advocate for our dog’s death and could not figure out of all times for Gabby to stop coughing and gagging and looking sick she chose now. The vet examined Gabby and then agreed that her lungs sounded terrible and were full of fluid. She explained the procedure for euthanizing Gabby and we signed the form and chose to have her body cremated and paid with a credit card. It seemed so surreal.
The Procedure
The first step in the procedure was to take Gabby in the back and give her a sedative so they can put an IV line in a vein for the lethal injection. As the vet attached the leash to Gabby she started coughing hoarsely again and the vet looked at us like she finally believed us about how bad she has gotten. I have since learned that as a defense mechanism in the wild, dogs will hide their pain and suffering so as not to look weak. After about 5 minutes they came back to the room carrying Gabby and spread out a blanket on the examination table and laid Gabby down on it. The vet told us to spend as much time as we wanted with her and to poke our head out when we were ready. We had expected Gabby to be coherent, but she was completely sedated and breathing quickly trying to get enough air into her liquid filled lungs. This was the point where we could have changed our minds, but we were seeing how bad she really was and how much of a struggle it had been for her to breathe. Even if we did change our minds she would continue to suffer until she finally died a painful death, or we would have to return to the vet clinic to go through this all over again. We took off her harness and then spent a few minutes petting her and telling her how great of a dog she is. When it was time I poked my head out the door and nodded to the vet. The vet came back into the room and laid two syringes on the table; one large one full of a pink liquid and one small one with a clear liquid. She asked us if we were ready and after saying we were she told us to pet Gabby so she knew we were there with her. As Gabby gasped for air the vet grabbed the large syringe and inserted it into the PICC line and pulled back on the plunger to see if the IV line was still in the vein and then started to slowly push the pink liquid into Gabby. She picked up the second syringe and injected it and Gabby’s rapid breathing slowed quickly and then stopped all together after just a few seconds. It was probably just my imagination but I swear I could feel Gabby’s soul, life-force, or whatever you want to call it leave her body and pass through the room. The vet used her stethoscope as we continued petting her and confirmed that Gabby was dead. The vet told us that we had made the right decision and that we could spend as much time as we wanted with her and to leave whenever we wished and they would handle the body. After spending a few minutes saying our goodbyes we picked up the leash and harness and made our way quickly across the waiting room filled with people and pets and out to the car.
We Miss our Dog
After 14 years of life with Gabby our house seems empty without her. When we returned home from the vet clinic we put away her food bowl and threw away her bedding. I tried to explain to Sydney about how peacefully Gabby had died, but she kept screaming at me, “I know” and then stomped out of the room. I guess that is how a 7-year old deals with loss. Kerri and I dealt with the loss by taking a break from doing house projects and went through all of our old photos looking for photos of Gabby and remembering all of the great times we had had together. We have compiled some of the photos we found into a slideshow as a tribute to our fine dog. You will be missed, Gabby!
Lisa & Corey says
I know it sounds cliche, but hang in there. We had to put 1 of our cats down on April 23rd. Silverstein was about to turn 5 (that’s a very short life for a cat). In January he got sick & we took him to the vet, they gave us some medicine & sent us on our way. Well, he never got better & to make a long story short, it turned out that he had liver disease. Anyway, if we were millionaires, then we might’ve been able to save him, but even then there were no guarantees. It’s been a bit over 3 weeks & we’re still in a rut. We plan to blog about it, but i think it’s still too soon for us – we’ve lost 1 of our best friends!
Just know that you’re not alone.
Take Care,
Lisa & Corey
Jason says
Thanks guys! I’m really sorry to hear about your cat. It is amazing how much you miss your pet when they’re gone. The post above was really hard to write, but I feel much better after doing so. To me, blogging/writing is a great therapeutic method of getting out what I feel inside and sharing it with others. It’s hard, but you will probably feel better if you blog about Silverstein. I would love to read it when you do.
We should form a support group for travelers that have lost pets… 🙂
Lisa & Corey says
p.s. – love the tribute – she was sucha cutie! 🙂
Jason says
Yes she was! Kerri and I are having a hard time watching it, though…
Since Kerri plays the cello we thought it would be fitting to use one of our favorite songs from the Portland Cello Project. If you ever get a chance to see them, go! They put on a great show.
Lisa & Corey says
Once I heard the song I knew I needed to find the artists. . . thanks! Let me know where the sign-up sheet is for the support group, Corey & I are in. I think we’ll be posting about our baby boy in the next few days.
Katie says
Hi Travel Junkies,
I’m sorry to hear about your loss. What a poignant story. We just returned from a trip to find that our cat had peed on our bed (and memory foam mattress topper) 5 times. I was very frustrated all day with her, but after reading your post I remember why we have her in our family. Thanks for sharing.
Katie
Jason says
Hi Katie,
Cat pee is the worst! I can only imagine how hard it would be to get the smell out of memory foam. Our cat, Spock, was a little terror when he was little. He would pee on everything and scratch stuff (including us) and I was determined to get rid of him. But after getting him fixed he turned into the greatest cat and loves to cuddle with everyone and I am so glad that we kept him. We are really going to miss him when we head off to travel.
James Silvester says
We are with you….Just put down my beagle Tucker yesterday 07/06/2013….12 Years Old…Found him along side a mountain road starving in Tucker County, West Virginia…..He developed major health issues through the years…diabetes, thyroid, skin allergies, and he was down to one eye….had the other removed on Christmas Eve 2011. But what a great friend and companion………I have put down many pets…we are animal lovers and have had many pets in our 35 years of marriage…..but Tucker was my buddy. I couldn’t stand to see the Vet put him down….We hugged and kiss that boy and he watched me leave with that one eye……I’m having a very difficult time…..but my heart and prayers are with all who have loved and lost a four legged friend……..
Colleen says
Reading this article I cried the whole time.
Last night October 6, 2013 my family and i decided to put our 14 year old beagle Snoopy to sleep.
She had the same issue as Gabby, fluid in her lungs, coughing and gagging all the time.
I am in so much pain, and so is our other 4 legged hound.
She was the runt of her pack, and wasnt expected to live longer than her brothers and sisters, but she outlived them by 6 years. We got her from my uncle, he used to hunt with beagles and one of his dogs just had a liter and we had the gift of recieving snoopy into our lives.
I am 21 now, and basically grew up along with her. I am taking her loss the worst out of the whole family. I feel so disconnected with everything.
rebecca says
im crying for you as well as myself now, your doggie was a sweet soul. . We just put our sweet little petey to sleep yesterday 2-12-2014 @3pm, I will never forget his face, im so sad right now, we all are, my teenagers are sobbing my husband is crying, my eyes are swollen, I had no clue we would all take it this hard, we all loved him every second of his 12 years on this planet, ?
Gina says
You were wonderful parents to a wonderful beagle. Mine is 10 and coughs occasionally. She has 2 sisters . . .a dashound and terrior mix and they all pkay great .and hunt great in a large fenced in yard as a group, and sleep in my bed, as usual. And as a group. You can never replace a pet but hopefulky honor your pet by giving a needy one a home. I have the ashes of my last 2 and a ferrsl cat. My babies alwsys. . .
Ron says
Thank you for sharing Gabby s story.
We just had to put down our Beagle Wrigley of 11 years. I think Gabby and Wrigley would have been great friends.
Janice says
I had to let my Beagle Barney go a couple of months ago. He had heart problems, was deaf, blind and had severe arthritis among another health issues. He was my buddy and constant companion. It was a heartbreaking decision but it was time to end his pain. I gave him the best life I could and have no regrets. He will be in my heart for ever.
Teresa Pena says
Our Beagle is Named Uno. My son named him because: first one born in the litter. His first dog. (And only one so far). And bc we have Latina background. Uno will be 14 yrs old in October 2016. He is coughing, heart murmur etc. just like you discribed Gaby. Been giving him all the meds to breath better, to reduce the liquid in his lungs etc.. I asked the veterinary is she can tell us if he is suffering. She said no she could not. I feel terrible if I put him down. He won’t get better but I don’t want to have him suffer if I can’t tell. This is awful. Your video only makes me cry.
Laurie says
I made the same tough decision just yesterday and I am still struggling to know if it was the right one. I have to believe that keeping her alive would have been for me, not her. Like Gabby, Suzie was 14. She had recurring bouts of bronchitis, and this past week the X-ray showed a terrible situation going on in her chest. The vet felt it looked atypical for pneumonia and suggestive of heart failure; he just couldn’t confirm because he couldn’t even see her heart on the X-ray. after almost a week on the strongest antibiotic she had not bounced back. A beagle whose greatest joy in life was food would no longer eat. She was growing weak and I could see the light going out in her eyes. On Friday Suzie and I took a mini road trip – she loved riding in the car. On Saturday, she was less alert and took her last car ride to the vet. As we sat in the waiting room, she looked up at me with those Beagle eyes, a clarity in them I had not seen in a while, and it felt like a sign. She went to sleep on the floor in the examining room and I had to wake her up to say goodbye. It was a peaceful end to her journey. There was no way of knowing when she would die naturally and she did not deserve to starve to death or be strangled by her own lungs. I will keep reminding myself of that. It’s my only solace right now.
Lainie says
We had to put Henry to sleep yesterday, our gentle loving beagle. He was 15 years, 1 month, 18 days. He was al,out blind, almost deaf and had been off his food for a couple of weeks. My husband had to carry him upstairs to bed every night because he was rapidly losing strength in his legs. Henry never gave up, even yesterday when he managed to come down the stairs on his own. But by 10:30 all 4 legs failed him and he couldn’t stand up. Poor Henry, we had to make the sad decision to put him to sleep.
The vet and the nurse were so caring. He had more cuddles as he was better nag prepared than ever before. He was tranquil and I wonder if he knew. We were all in tears and my 22 year old son was so so upset. Henry passed away quietly and peacefully and we left him looking like he was sleeping.
Today we have all been very quiet with our thoughts. I can hardly bring myself to look at the fire, his bed and our loving dog no longer sleeping in front of it.
I know he had a good life, I know we did the right thing but it is so painful. He was part of our family and we miss him desperately. Rest in peace Henry, we love you.
Michael says
We have to put our beagle down any day now.. she can’t hear. And is blind in one eye… this story made me cry…
Jeff says
Thanks for sharing these stories everyone. My beagle is 16 1/4. We have finally made the decision to put her down and have an appointment for later this week. She pees and poops on the floor or carpet almost every night and has done so for the last 3 years. She has started falling down, she will be standing still and all 4 legs will give out and she does a Bambi. Hasn’t greeted us at the door in a long time. Her tail is constantly between her legs when it used to wag all the time. She having a really hard time with the stairs on the deck and is taking forever to eat her meals, when she used to down them quickly. Now with winter here she is having a really hard time walking, stiff joints, paws freezing (when it is not even that cold yet). All these things and more and I am still having a hard time with putting her down. Everyone’s stories and comments here really help.
david says
Thank you for sharing about gabby. I had a wonderful beagle dog named Mikey for seventeen years.I rescued him when he was about a year and half as a really beat up puppy. He was my world and my funniest best friend. I used to watch over him like a hawk. He was just the BEST dog. I love and tremendously miss him so much.
He had the most adorable beagle face even in his old age. March 12, 2017 the worst day of my life.
I took Mike into a vet for he didnt look so great. Neither did I for that matter. Mike had not been terminally ill and he had always been a healthy dog who ate people food as he just hated regular dog food. I loved that dog SO much!
Anyhow , mikes arthritis was pretty bad, he was pretty deaf as I had never really been able to afford regular vet visits.
I had taken Mike into this particular vet, a picked at random one, about a month prior to that awful day. Just to see how much it would cost to have him put down when and if the time ever came. I never could even “think” of ever putting him to sleep but was curious to know what the cost would be. They told me they wouldn’t charge for it. So a month went by, as I had fallen on really bad financial times and have been living in my truck , both Mikey and I, for quite sometime. Anyway, He had run a week earlier and was sore. I fed him a hot dog and that morning of his poo was red. I took him into a vet to see if he was alright. I was a mess, very distraught. My mind was not right that morning . The vet said theres nothing else they can do. The only thing was to put him down. they had read his chart, later I found out, and after it was all over, Mike had died by euthanasia. I was so distraught and in shock that morning I didnt question and i later realized that since I had been in there a month earlier, the vet assumed I had wanted to put him down of which I didnt. They knew that I was financially poor and living in my car. YThe vet was a different vet than the one I had seen a month earlier. And rushed me thru and I couldnt think and all the while I never realized all the lines of information and understanding got crossed and all i heard was there was nothing else they could do. I should of said what kind of medicine can I get and I should have questioned everything. But I didn’t.
I just saw Mike hurting to walk and he was panting like crazy and doo dooing red.
Today is June 19, 2017 I have beat myself up every single day about all this as I miss and want my dog back like crazy.
I failed in protecting him as that morning I was so tired and it was really cold outside and I truly NEVER planned to put him down that day for I reply that morning every single day of what happened.
Something like this should have never happened especially to Mike and myself. I could not afford to get his ashes for the vet only that morning had said it would be 400 dollars to do so. I should of taken Mike and walked out of that vets office and got the hell out of there. But I didn’t. The vet should have asked me if I was ready to live without Mike
they should of not rushed me in to such a decision and its all my fault.
This story actually is deeper than anyone could imagine. Depression over takes me each and every moment to this day. I still live in my very old car . I have a stuffed hound animal behind my interior seat in my car that I have facing me from behind for that’s where Mike used to have his nice comfortable bed. For I miss that beautiful old beagle face
and I am suffering missing him. I love you Mike . Love Dad
Kay says
I hope you are doing better all around. All of the stories here are heartbreaking and somehow comforting to know that true pet parents feel the same way I do. But, David, you sound so alone. I really hope things are better now. I wish you and every one here peace.
John O says
I looked up “Put beagle down” and found this article, I guess in a way it was therapy for me because I just got back from putting my beagle down the same way.
Boo was 10, barely into her senior. She was diagnosed with Pancreatitis about a year ago which was a pain for her as she could only eat specific medicated dog food or special home cooked meal which would still be bland.
She’s also a survivor. She had parvo as a puppy and was near death. She was skin and bones, eyes sunked in, but I made the decision to pay to get her healthy again which came out to be around $2000 with also home nursing 24/7.
She had a seizure once which she recovered from. Had a “benign” tumor on her eyelid which I suspect was a wrong diagnosis because it made her head cave in, her eye droopy and red. I guess they call that “Horner’s Syndrome”.
Needless to say, I decided to take her to the coast and she enjoyed it. She loved walking on the beach and we spent some good times out there with her.
When we came back, the next morning, she couldn’t walk. She was stumbling, walking as if she was drunk, leaning to the left and constantly falling down.
I did a lot of research on this and it appears it was vestibular disease, but there’s two types, peripheral and central. Peripheral would be one where dogs can recover from, but Central is more devastating. I believe she had Central.
I tried everything from taking her to the vet which recommended I do MRI and all these tests which would accumulate to thousands of dollars or do blood tests and IV injection which I have gone through many times when she was diagnosed with pancreatitis. Only to be brought back to square one.
I bought CBD oil hoping it would be the cure all end all medicine. Nope. It actually made her worst. I had to constantly hand feed her and give her Pedialyte as she could not drink because she couldn’t stand.
Well today was the last straw when I attempted to take her for a walk. She just fell flat on her face and couldn’t get up.
I looked at her and she looked at me with lifeless eyes as if she had given up. It was time to make that call.
It is so hard. I love my dog so much and I will miss her. I haven’t cried this much in a long time. I feel terrible, but at the same time, I feel like I did the right thing for her. Her quality of life was just non existent. Even if she were to recover, she still had pancreatitis, a tumor in her neck, her eye, sunken left eye, etc. It was just bad all around
The techs that put her down were so gentle and made me feel at ease the way they went about. I appreciate that. The moment they insert the needle, it’s just like how you describe. My girl died in my arms. The memory is so vivid right now.
I’m going to get her ashes and spread them on the beach she enjoyed walking on. It was such a weird timing. She was doing great and all of a sudden when she came back, this all happened as if God was calling for her.
She’s up there now chasing all those rabbits she used to chase in her dreams while barking in her sleep.
RIP Boo 🙁
Allan Sutton says
All of these stories are very too familiar. May 27th, Memorial Day, at 12:30 AM, I signed the papers to put down my Beagle “Piper” who was suffering from respiratory distress, not eating for days, arthritis, Canine Cognitive Disorder, mysterious mass next to her liver, and severe fatigue. She was mostly deaf, cloudy eyes but could still see pretty well, had daily “accidents” that I would clean up without thinking of scolding her for she could not control herself any longer. My wife and I knew it was time, so we took her to the emergency vet and he concurred with our concerns. I held her tight and cried “I am sorry” over and over again after she was gone. She went peacefully, quick, and I find myself left with loss, guilt, and second guessing our final decision. I know it was the right thing to do, but it is hard not to wonder if there was something else we could have done. We had already spent thousands a few months ago, when the first bought of pneumonia hit and I knew that this time would only be harder, costlier, and she would make it much longer.
I found this article and hope that talking about my “dumb-bunny” (affectionately referred to by me) will help me go through my grief and let others know they are not alone. Animals, pets, members of the family are so hard to let go, I will never forget her.
Piper’s Dad