After two years of global travel, we will be returning to the United States. We are trying to remain optimistic about our future, but truth be told, we are feeling a little sad about returning.
Our trip, that we planned for so long, is coming to an end and we will be returning to the land of…. of… what are we returning to? We turn on the US news and we see shootings, rapes, murders, riots, and all kinds of bad stuff. Why do we want to return to that? We open our personal Facebook pages and see political discussions filled with hate. People can no longer debate differences of political opinion in a rational way. How did American politics become so polarized? Why does everyone hate each other?
Long-term travel has changed us and our priorities are no longer the same. We don’t want more stuff to clutter our lives; we just want more happiness. We have spent two years pursuing happiness and interacting with others on the same journey. You may question our selfish act of leaving society to pursue our own happiness, but the founding fathers of the United States understood the importance of happiness. They understood it so well that they even wrote it into the Declaration of Independence:
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.
Our pursuit of happiness has been amazing and we don’t want it to end, but we need a place where we can call home. We need a place where we can grow roots and become part of the community. But according to the news, there is no community that is safe in the United States. We are warned that we should all own guns to defend ourselves against the bad guys. How can anyone be happy if they are living their lives in fear?
We do have fears; we fear returning to our old lives. Before leaving, our life was filled with busy schedules and we don’t want that again. We want to make new friends and actually have the time to interact with them. In person! We only have 8 years left before our daughter heads off to college. She will only have one childhood and we want to be part of it. Before leaving we were lucky if we saw her for two hours a day. We thought we were providing her a good life, but we were wrong. A good life is one that involves quality time together. We want to give that to her, but we fear we could easily fall back into the trap of busy schedules and having no time for family or friends.
Our plan of relocating to Portland, Maine will hopefully give us a fresh start and make it harder to fall into our old routine. We want to continue our pursuit of happiness there: Kerri wants a garden, Sydney wants to ride horses, and I want to take photos. We want our business ventures to be successful so we can continue to travel and have adventures. It all sounds so idealistic, and that makes us sad. As of right now, it’s still just a dream and we have yet to step foot in Maine. We have a 1000 things to do before we even get there, including purchasing a vehicle in Portland, Oregon and preparing it for a 4300 mile cross country journey through mountains, ice, and snow. We need to meet up with family and friends and say our hellos and goodbyes. We need to pick up our stuff that we left with family and somehow pack in into the car and a small trailer. The list goes on and on and on. We haven’t even returned to US soil and already we have a busy schedule. We don’t want that stress again and it is really bumming us out. I think the stress of our return is making us reconsider our decision of heading back to the United States. I found myself looking at long stay visas for Germany and France. Kerri suggested just this morning that maybe we should move to Mexico and start our businesses there. I don’t know what it is about the US, but we are really dragging our feet on returning. We know it will be the best in the long run, but only if we can stay true to our path.
We return to Portland, Oregon in just 2 weeks. Hopefully we make it…
I feel your sadness. Me and my children lived in Senegal and finally had to make the realization this summer that my oldest needed/wanted to finish high school in America in one location and “make roots” and emerge ourselves in a community and prepare her for the future of college. I was sad, we have been traveling as a family since my oldest was 3 months old now she is 14 years old and 2nd oldest 12 years old. Good luck on your journey
Well said! But I think it’s not that bad, or rather it doesn’t have to be. Getting rid of my television a dozen years ago helped. More recently, not reading newspapers and blocking friends who rant on facebook helped too. I’ve reflected in recent years on whether things are worse these days, and I think that the evil acts are not more heinous or more frequent so much as we are more saturated with them. Once, when something dreadful happened, we heard about it on TV at 6 and 10 and that was that. Now we swim in it – all day long. Or at least some do; I follow the travels of folks like you. Cheers.
You don’t have to go back, you know. Only if you want to. There are people like us living all over the world, some without money. I just saw these guys this morning: http://www.goatsontheroad.com. I am living with my 11-year-old daughter on a long-stay visa in France, in the wake of a year and a half on Lake Atitlan in Guatemala, which I would recommend highly. Inexpensive, adventurous, a wonderful expat community. You’re welcome to contact me for support as desired. And whatever you do, quit paying attention to corporate media. I work for The Intelligent Optimist (www.theoptimist.com), which reports on what’s working all over the world. Plenty is, in the U.S. too. Great luck!
Hey Carol,
Thanks so much for the shout-out to us. You’re absolutely right, travels don’t have to end! We’ve taught English abroad, we house sit, we freelance write and we run our travel blog! There are ways to stay abroad 🙂
We’re actually off to Lake Atitlan tomorrow! Where did you stay there?
Cheers 🙂
I just got this message for some reason. I lived in a house Armand Boissy found for me right on the lake. Google him; he can probably do the same for you. And if you’d like some intros to families with kids, I can probably help. How old are your kids?
Best of luck!
Carol
Returning can be so hard. I have taken 2 x 1 year trips and readjusting back to Australia has been tough. I guess I wonder reading this why don’t you go somewhere other than the US if your business is to be something that can be done from anywhere? We are actually relocating to Malaysia in a couple of days to ramp up our online business. has the extra added bonus that we don’t need to make as much money too.
I can only imagine what you’re feeling, but one thing I can tell you is that what you hear on the news – while depressing and scary as hell – is “not” what this country is all about. There is way more good than bad, but unfortunately our main stream media distorts the news to the point that makes many people not want to step outside their door. There is bad and good everywhere in the world, you just have to make choices about how to live your life and what you choose to listen to.
But I do very much understand what you’re saying.
And you could still home school Sydney. There are SO many options for home schooling kids to connect with other kids to have that social aspect. It would also give you much more freedom to set off on little adventures.
Anyway, welcome back! I’ve followed you from the day you left and I look forward to hearing what’s coming up next.
Interesting! I’ve been an expat in London for 17 years now. Over the years we’ve had a couple of opportunities to return back to the USA but have been dragging our feet. It’s definitely not the country I left and I’m reluctant to feel like an expat if I return to my own country. Mexico or Germany/France could be fun! I look forward to hearing what you decide.
we lived in India for 8+ years when we finally came back to the U.S. It has definitely been a tougher transition than I thought it would be. But 2.5 yrs in, we are happy to be back. Yes, we don’t get to travel like we did in India, we don’t have the disposable income that we used to have or the constant new friends and adventures. But our son has a pretty great life. We go hiking, tide pooling, to aquariums, kids museums, science museums, the planetarium, etc. These are things he didn’t have access to as a child in India. And we still do travel. We go on weekend trips and a few big trips a year. He became interested in spanish when we were in spain, he became a gardener after our mexico weekend getaway and he has become obsessed with park ranger stuff after a trip to yosemite. Yes our life is busier than in India, but it is still a full and fulfilling life with all the qualities we wanted to instill while abroad. You will do it as well. Just be prepared that making friends who understand this globetrotting lifestyle is harder in the US! We were also ready to be back so looked to it all as a new adventure. Having a positive attitude even though many aspects of US life stinks (for us the obscene cost of healthcare and rent) has been the most helpful. And don’t lose your exploring spirit! Good luck!!
Hang in there! Just as I am sure there was fear and anxiousness about quitting your jobs and setting off on this adventure, it seems reasonable to assume that similar feelings will accompany you in your transition to the next part of your life. You are clearly able to dream big and then provide the follow through to make it happen – there is no reason that can’t happen again. You’ve got this!
Just remember that every community has great people in it, and I’m sure you’ll find them in Portland, or wherever you go. The news doesn’t tend to cover this part.
Thanks to you and your family for sharing your life so honestly. Those of us who are still in the planning stages of similar adventures greatly appreciate your perspective on all aspects of the this type of trip, including the return. Happy New Year and next chapter! 🙂
Trust your gut and do what you want. Perhaps you need a short visit in the US to reconnect and then find a new place to call home. We completely understand and are doing everything in our power to delay our return. We have very similar desires, fears and experiences to your family and I feel it all with you. Hang in there and the light bulb will go off and the right answer will come to you.
Seriously, my husband and I are having the same issues. We’re moving to Austin in 4 months after 2 years abroad and we’re already looking at long term options in Europe. We’re planning on having kids in a couple years and I seriously don’t want to raise them in America where we have no paid parental leave and our social welfare and education system is a joke. We’ve been getting a lot of guff from friends and family about it, but they can’t seem to explain to me how America is so much better. Good luck in both Portlands!
I hear ya.. but from a family that has been home for over a year from their year long journey.. you’ll find your new equilibrium and that alone will be a bit of a new adventure. But it does take effort to resist the go-go tempo of north american living. Good luck with re-entry!
Kerri
What did you decide? I’m very curious to know how your adventure continues and unfolds. Best of luck.
I feel your pain….even though our family was only on the road for a year (motorcycles – 2 teenagers – saw all of Canada, USA and most of Mexico), it was very hard to come home. You have had all these amazing adventures and everyone else’s life has gone on in the usual manner – without you. So it is hard fitting in – but you will – mostly…..a small part of you will always wish you were still traveling.
Give yourself a chance….yes, the news reporting sounds terrible, but American family life still buys gas, eats dinner, goes to work….etc in spite of all the things happening in the world.
You have given your family something precious and unique – never belittle that even when it seems hard to fit back in – you will eventually find your niche again.
Two weeks after we returned, our 15 year-old daughter said, “Mom, It is boring being in one place all the time.” Our sentiments exactly.
Don’t expect that everyone will want to hear your stories….most people will say, “Glad you are back.” Some people will say, “Glad you are back, Did you have a good time?” The rare precious person will say, “Glad you are back. Tell me your stories.” The last group is sparsely populated, so tell them two of your best adventures and then see if they want more. The memories will be most precious to you who have enjoyed them and can talk about them together, Do that. Talk about them with joy and gladness.
You have done a wonderful and terrible thing. Wonderful because your family has those amazing memories and experiences to build on….Terrible because you will be restless for those same adventures for the rest of your life.